It's been a few years now that people have been asking me: are you Elizabeth Gilbert? I first heard this before I read "Eat, Pray, Love" and wondered if I should start reading it. It took me a while but eventually I did.
I say this because I was still on a life changing journey after a painful divorce and reading about E. Gilbert's experience opened up a fresh wound, so actually, I couldn't wait to finish the book. Not because I loved it necessarily (although it was really well written), but because it was just too close to home.
Well, as time would have it, the wound has healed and I am now able to respond to the amazing likeness of our experiences. I was a bit amazed actually, and it made me wonder how many parallel lives exist in this universe. But the only reason I was able to entertain this thought was because Ms. Gilbert became famous while I continued to live my life in private.
This blog is not really meant to point out all the similarities but to address something that has come to my attention and has caused me concern.
Even though Ms. Gilbert received an advance book deal to write her book, I don't think it changed the purpose of her journey. A spiritual journey is really about identifying our egoistic patterns and learning the appropriate lessons in order to understand our suffering better. So getting money does not seem like part of the lessons she needed to learn - I don't think.
In my case, I took the journey by selling everything I owned after I got divorced with absolutely no plan ahead of me. While she knew she was going to hit the three "I's" - Italy, India, Indonesia, I only realized I was going to be visiting three countries starting with the letter "I" after I made it to the second "I" in Israel.
The difference is also this: E. Gilbert's story has become quite glamorous and has inspired divorcees all over the world and soon to be single women to try to do the same. But the spiritual journey is not really about traveling for traveling's sake, nor about being a tourist. And it's not about escaping the hardships of reality either. The journey is about awakening. And it can be very painful. (Just think about what it's like to wake up in the morning when all you want to do is sleep!)
My journey began in Los Angeles when my so-called happy marriage ended and left me hanging, unable to put two and two together any longer.
My destiny first took me to Paris since I am half French and have a French passport. It seemed logical enough for a time full of unknowns, even though I knew deep down it was not the life I had hoped for. I liken the beginning to a sudden curve ball or a meteor destroying my world as I knew it. And it was exactly that. I tried to just "go with the flow" as bravely and gracefully as possible, but all I kept thinking was, "what the fuck happened to my life?"
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| Me in Paris, July 2005 |
But three weeks after my arrival in Paris, I went to Italy and fell head over heels in love with the country and the culture. I knew I would be living there someday and that Paris was only a temporary pit stop.
I returned to Italy again after my "colpo di fulmine" (love at first sight) and started planning my eventual move. As you can imagine if you've read "Eat, Pray, Love" or seen the movie, eating was definitely part of my reawakening to life. I'll always remember the first home cooked meal I ate as it melted in my mouth as though I were eating for the very first time in my life.
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| Me in Venice, September 2005 |
However, it was not time to move yet and as destiny should have it, I continued travelling all over Europe and went to the second "I" in the middle-east- Israel. It was no surprise because I have family there and I was born there, but I hadn't been back in 18 years so it became part of my spiritual journey.
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| Me in Israel, October 2005 |
A few months later I was in India and stayed on an ashram (not the same one as E. Gilbert). After two days I was ready to leave but I was convinced to stay on which in the end was the best and worst decision I would make.
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| Me in India, January 2006 |
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India was essentially the end of the road. I made a few more trips after that, but I knew that I had taken in all I could and absolutely needed to digest it all.
I started writing a book about my experience but decided not to publish it mainly because I like my privacy. Privacy and freedom go hand in hand for me so it was not a difficult decision to make. I left the film business in Los Angeles mainly because I realized that fame and fortune were grossly over-rated.
Instead, I made my dream come true and returned to live in Italy. Having an EU passport made it possible for me to realize this dream. I traveled and worked all over Italy from north to south, and stayed in a couple of different cities for nearly a year each to teach and try to settle down there. But I didn't because something always seemed to be missing.
So I left once again and went to work in England and France only to find that my heart still belonged somewhere in Italy. A year later I was offered a job teaching English in Sardinia - Italy's beautiful island.
Living on an island was definitely not a place I imagined I could live (you can read my article about Alghero, Sardinia here:
"Finding Treasures in Alghero, Sardinia"). It was isolated and removed from the Italian train system that I just loved to ride across the country. But when I heard the airport was only fifteen minutes away, I knew there was a chance I could like it ... and I did. So much so that a year later I am still living there.
This is where my story knits the "eat and pray" part and combines it with the "love" part. Yes, I also finally gave in to love once again, at a most unsuspecting moment and from a most unsuspecting man. And just like E. Gilbert does in her book, I feared the loss of my balance and all the spiritual work I had put into finding it, and nearly walked away from the opportunity to love again. But I didn't (because apparently I am wiser now).
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| Me in Sardinia with my new man, 2010 |
So that's my story in a nutshell.
Elizabeth Gilbert and I have a few experiences in common which I think Julia Roberts did a great job of expressing in the movie. Finding yourself whether it be in real life or in the movies is not that easy. Losing all your money and starting from scratch is not something I would recommend either. Being celibate in Italy for a year sounds absolutely absurd (because it is), but somehow both of us did that too.
Not too long ago I found out that Ms. Gilbert waited tables with my old college roommate when we both lived in New York City. My old roommate tried to remind me of our conversations of the then unknown Elizabeth Gilbert but I honestly don't remember them. Too many journeys have come and gone since then and after too many hours of meditation, my brain has wiped out a lot of the past.
"Life is a journey, not a destination."
This was my mantra before the journey began, and it still is because the journey never really ends.
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