Endings and Beginnings

"Religion is a feeling of goodness, that love which is like the river, living, moving everlastingly. In that state you will find there comes a moment when there is no longer any search at all; and this ending of search is the beginning of something totally different. The search for God, for truth, for feeling of being completely good -- not the cultivation of goodness, of humility, but the seeking out of something beyond the inventions and tricks of the mind, which means having a feeling for that something, living in it, being it -- that is true religion. But you can do that only when you leave the pool you have dug for yourself and go out into the river of life. Then life has an astonishing way of taking care of you, because then there is no taking care on your part. Life carries you where it will because you are a part of itself; then there is no problem of security, of what people say or don't say, and that is the beauty of life." - Krishnamurti

Life is so full of surprises.

It's been about four years now that I've been traveling, learning new skills and basically searching for a spiritual path I could be at peace with.

The journey took me from California to Canada, France, Italy, Israel, India, England, Portugal, Spain, Ireland and many cities in between. There have been great highs and great lows, and I have met all kinds of people with much love in their hearts also traveling on a journey of joy and pain.

There has been enlightenment and there has been confusion. There has been bliss and there has been depression. There have been places I could call home, and places where I felt I could be myself. All in one lifetime.

A seeker not only seeks, but studies, travels, inquires, asks questions, makes peace and declares war. All in the name of truth. And this week has brought the great journey to an end. Or should I say, to a new beginning?

Oh, there is nothing concrete to write about. It's just more like a knowingness. A great sigh of relief arrives, like a warm bath after a long day, where you lay there and say, "ahhhhhh, now I can relax."

Beginnings are auspicious, so full of hope and energy. It would be great if there were only beginnings in life, but unfortunately not. There are also middles and endings and at times they can be just as wonderful as beginnings and at other times they can drag on for what seems like forever.

My chapters have occurred in eights. Within eight year cycles there were eight month cycles. I lived at apartment number eight, in 2008 in Perugia, Italy, so I named my cat "Otto" which, although it sounds German, also means eight in Italian.

But as this last eight year cycle has been winding down, I have noticed that the monthly cycles have been changing. From eight months down to two months.

And that's progress!